Are you thriving or just surviving?
How do we live in the now when we are running from our pasts and worrying about our futures?
Life can be so demanding especially when you are juggling motherhood, career, home life, and relationships. It’s easy for women to go on “auto-pilot” because so much demands our attention and we are natural caregivers. We are used to putting everyone else’s needs before our own and accepting that’s the way it is. Numbness can turn into our normal where we are just getting through our day-to-day never-ending tasks and long to do lists and ignoring our own personal wellness and desires. Sometimes it’s been so long we don’t even know what we want anymore.
Lately, I’ve been on my own self journey to healing and rediscovery of who I am without the labels of mum, wife, businesswomen, “fill in the blank”. It requires a lot of internal work and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. When we are willing to do the internal work and “dig up” all the feelings that have been buried deep into our inner being that are still causing us pain (even when we are unaware of it) or causing us to self-sabotage (weekend binge drinking was my go-to) we start the healing process. In order for us to become whole again we need to peel back the layers from the past of hurt, pain, betrayal, self-doubt, and fear and bring them to the surface so we can take our power back and live our lives fully and whole heartly.
So where do we start? Well, here’s what I’ve learned so far…
Make time for Self-Care
This is something that I prioritize in my life, and I know the outcome when I do. I’m a much happier person when I MAKE the time to fit in my workouts, meditate, have a coffee or lunch with a friend, or get a pedicure. Usually when I’m feeling very emotionally depleted it’s because I haven’t made the time to fit in my self-care that week.
Don’t try to be an Island
Have a great support group around you that you feel comfortable to be vulnerable around and share openly what you’re going through. My go to was to bottle everything inside and keep myself super busy so I wouldn’t have to deal with the “real” issues. This just creates a toxic emotional storm inside that eventually comes up to the surface. Your life will not be blue skies every day, but clouds come and go. Make sure to talk it out with someone or a professional
Don’t get caught up in toxic positivity
We are not supposed to be happy all the time and all emotions serve a purpose. We are human beings who are meant to feel all our emotions; good or bad. The idea that we must be positive all the time can be damaging to our mental health, especially when we see “fake” happiness on social media. We are not being our authentic self’s if we suppress negative emotions and try to replace them with “surface” positive ones. So don’t be hard on yourself if you’re having an “off” day or just need to take a break from your hectic schedule.
